Insanity
by haveyouseenmyhaggis
Summary: A look inside the Master's mind during End of Time... Because the drumming never stop and not even the Doctor can help. But then again, does he really want the Doctor to help?


**Title: Insanity**

**Summary: A look inside the Master's mind at "End of Time**

**Author's Note: I was just watching EoT and was inspired to write this. I think the Master is a fascinating character and the fact he's so insane interests me...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own _Doctor Who._**

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Insanity. Insanity. Insanity. _In-san-ity._

The drums. Oh, the drums. My constant companion, my constant _tormentor... _And in truth it is a tormentor. I'm in agony. _Agony. _A burning, blood curdling pain that never quite leaves. It's there - oh it's always there. It never leaves. Never gives me in peace. NEVER. It's there. It's there. It's there... It's _here. _It's here now. In my head. But nobody else can hear it. They should hear it. They all should hear it because it's not fair. It's never fair. Why me? Why not _him_? Why not the _Doctor. _

The Doctor. Ha. The Doctor of what exactly? The man who makes people _better. _Well, I. Am. The _Master. _And he can't make me better. He can't fix me. I don't want him to fix me. I don't want _him _anywhere near me. I hate him. I hate him so much. Why must he always win? Or maybe he doesn't always win. Maybe I just always lose. Always. But I never lose the drums. Never lose them... The drumming. One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four, onetwothreefour... IN MY HEAD. Always. In. My. Head. But _he _can't hear them. He can't hear what I hear. He doesn't know what it's like. He can't fix this. He could never fix this. He doesn't know what it is. He doesn't know. This time, he isn't the Doctor. He's the Doctor for everyone but me... But like I said, I don't want his help. I don't need his help. I don't need anyone's help. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY.

But what if...? What if he could help me? What if he could end the drumming... What then...? But no... No, he can't make me "better". He can't change me. He's all empty promises, "Oh, let me help you!" and "Come with me! I'll help!" and it disgusts me. As _if _he could help. As _if _he could change how I am. Ha. Oh, I'm laughing at him. I'm always laughing at him because one day I'm going to kill him and he'll cry my name as he dies and he'll beg for _my _help. Me. He'll want me then. Oh, _then, _he'll _need _me. But I won't care. I don't need him. It doesn't matter to _me _if he wants me. Because I'll be killing him. Dead. The Doctor. Dead. The Master victorious... Oh how good it sounds...

I could have killed him many times before... I could have shot him dead and watched the blood drain from his body. I could have strangled him and crushed the air from his lungs and-

But I haven't killed him yet. He's still alive. With his promises. His _lies. _He tells me he _cares. _We're alone together - the only ones left. But I don't want him. But... we're alone. There. Is. Only. Us. We are the last of the Timelords, him and I. Him. And. I. The last...

Maybe that's why I don't kill him. Maybe that's why I haven't killed him _yet_. I get so close to doing it and then... Then I don't. He deserves it though. He deserves to die for what happened to Gallifrey.

But wait... Maybe he doesn't deserve to _die_. Maybe an endless suffering would be more suited.. Maybe he deserves to suffer the way I do. He should have to live with the drums in his head burning his mind and driving him to the point where he can't think anymore and-

Oh, how I would love to watch him cry... I would _love _to watch him fall to his knees in defeat and _plead _for my help. One day I'll get him. Then he'll understand pain. He'll understand how I've been feeling all. He should. And I will make him beg for his life. He'll beg for mercy eventually. I could destroy every ounce of pride he has and then he'd be mine. He wouldn't be trying to act like he's better than me - like he knows so much more than me. He doesn't. He doesn't know how to stop the drumming anymore than I do...

Sometimes I wish he did...

Just look at him though. Strutting around with his _friends. _Friends. Hahaha, I don't want friends. I don't need friends. Its not like I'm ever alone. The drums... They're always there. Although, sometimes I want to be alone. The drums scare me. I'm so scared. All the time. Terrified. I'm one of the last of the Timelords and I'm _afraid. _Afraid of what? A noise in my head but it's real. It _has _to be real. Because it's there... all the time.

They burn my mind. They tear me apart. But at least it's something. I know I'm alive when I can hear the drums. But is it really living? What's a life where your main companion is sounds in your own head?

_Insanity... _The word comes back to me. Again. Insanity. Insanity. In-san-ity... And then there's the drumming. So loud. So, so loud and it's getting louder and louder and I can't hear anything else and... and...

This is how my life is... Do you feel pity? Do you think I need help? I know you do. I know it. Everyone thinks that. You all do. Every single one of you. And rest assured, one day I'm going to make sure you know my name. I'm not Harold Saxon as you saw in the papers. Oh, how funny it is that that's how you remember me. Harold Saxon. The politician that went insane. You just don't remember what happened. You don't remember that I brought the planet to its knees. But you will, oh, you will. And everyone will know that I. Am. The Master.


End file.
